Getting Smarter as I get older...

OK, I had a GRAND plan for a garden we were going to plant this summer. I read a magazine and even drew out the plan. It was going to be 6' x 4' in our yard. I talked to people who know how to garden and got a list of things we needed to buy. Off I went with the girls and my cool brother Matt to pick up what we needed from Lowes this weekend. While in the store, piling our cart high with everything we needed, I suddenly felt like I could not breathe.... WHAT AM I THINKING??? Pulling up all that grass to attempt to plant when I have no clue what I am doing?? We had fencing, steaks, weed tarp, tomato cages, lots of dirt, plants, tools, etc.... I asked my brother when I became a farmer!! I THANKFULLY realized while still in Lowes that I was in WAY over my head. So we pared it down. Put back a few plants, the steaks and fencing, all the tools and most of the dirt. We picked up more pots (we were already planning to plant 5 herbs in pots anyway) and went home. On Sunday Matt, Rahul the girls and I peacefully planted our little, manageable garden in pots on our deck. Ahhhhhh, it was wonderful. Start to finish it took one hour instead of the entire day. The girls TOTALLY LOVED IT. And it should be easy to maintain. We hopefully will have some tomatoes, cucumbers, various peppers and sweet peas in addition to great smelling herbs to use in our clean cooking. I AM SO PROUD that I realized I was insane before we left with all that stuff and dug up my yard! I mean, now, if everything dies I throw the pots away and we can pretend it never happened. That would be impossible if I had left a 6 x 4 foot gaping hole in our nice yard. I am happy. It makes me happy. We watered it today and the girls love it. It is totally a new thing for me to REALIZE I am going off the deep end and STOP MYSELF before it happens. I like it. I might try it more often in fact.

Here is to hoping we get some good eats out of our potted vegetables. And to knowing I can throw it all out if we do not! :)

Before and after

And I am not even done with my after.....

I do not even remember how I heard about it, but somehow I entered a contest for Life Fitness based on the concept of people choosing to be healthy. And they sent me a shirt, and I was so proud that they sent me a shirt that said I LIVE IT. I hope I live it. I hope I make strong choices every day. I really want to be an example for the girls that they have choices to make in their lives, and I want to fill their choices with healthy options.
Well, today, I received an email from Life Fitness asking me for BEFORE and AFTER pictures (I totally had no clue that was part of the contest or I so never would have entered). So I dug up this horrible picture from a few years ago - there were two of them. When I saw this one, it made me so sad. I felt like it was my head on someone else's body. I really did. When I saw these pictures, I joined weight watchers, we got an elliptical and some weights and I started working. And I have worked on and off for the past three years. The weight has come off VERY slowly, and I still have 15 pounds to go - but I eat clean and feel SO MUCH BETTER every day. I have no clue what will happen with the contest - but since I had to email her these pictures, I thought I would post them, too... the before.... And my after are the race pictures... already posted below... but I wanted to post one of them so I could see them both in one post.
I know I can keep doing this every day. At least I am moving in the right direction, right???

I am a runner.

Wow, that feels cool, to say. I have wanted to be a runner since middle school when I was playing on the volleyball and basketball teams and I would see all the cross country and track kids come through the gym. I thought about how amazing it must feel to be that strong. And to be able to run like they ran. I have always had poor knees, and I thought it would keep me from ever running. Now, at 38 - I started to run this past January. I started slowly following a program that allowed me to build up to actually RUNNING. And, it seemed to work. I was worried my knees would not hold out - they were SO SORE when Matt and I tried to run every other mile in the Indy Mini Marathon last weekend. We only made it to running mile four and it felt like someone was stabbing us in the knees. We still did great and cut 25 minutes off our last years mini marathon time - Matt and I finished in 2 hours and 52 minutes last weekend. We walked most of it REALLY FAST and ran just under four miles. So, our goal was under 3 hours and we did it, but I was sad all week that I was unable to run more.

With my first attempt to run a real 5K happening today, I wondered if I could do it.  Well, I DID IT! I ran the entire thing and there were even hills! It was hard, but wonderful. I wanted to run it all and do it in under 30 minutes if it was possible - well, I ran it all and ran it in 28:06 (and I even had to stop and tie my shoe!!). I started sobbing when I crossed the finish line because I felt like NOW I can say "I am a runner." My knees might never allow me to run a full mini marathon, and I am ok with that. Because I did run a 5K and I ran it wtih a very respectable time. I beat my goal - just 8 days after my knees killing me in the mini. I did it. I ran by myself outside for the first time ever ( I run on my treadmill and I love running inside). I ran fast for me, too. Fast enough to allow me to call myself a runner. And it felt great. Really, really great. And that makes me really really happy.  And I love pictures with some random guy dressed like a banana - that makes me happy, too!

Mother's Day when your Mom is in Heaven...

I am embarrassed to admit that I have always LOVED Mother's Day. When I was little I thought it was the neatest holiday ever. I loved having a day to celebrate my Mom. I loved the displays, the balloons, the phone call commercials reminding you over and over to call your mother. Then, when I became a mother myself, I got the best of both worlds. I was able to completely celebrate my amazing mother and be showered with hugs and kisses from the little people I had created in my own belly. Does it really get any better than that I often wondered. Well, then my Mom died in a freak accident and it left me reeling on Mother's Day. Here I am, still a mother who little people want to celebrate and yet I want to scream every time I hear a commercial telling me to call my Mom. How can you do that when she is dead I wonder! The first year she was gone I actually had to walk out of the grocery store to resist the urge to push over the displays of flowers, cookies and balloons. Now, I just turn my head and walk by sadly. I feel embarrassed because I loved this day soooooo much before having no concept how hard it was on all of those whose Moms are gone. No concept how it feels like you cannot breathe inside while smiling and accepting handmade gifts of love from your cute little babies. For the rest of my life I have to dread and pretend to love this day. I am so sorry for anyone reading this who does not have a Mom to celebrate. I am so sorry for all the years I loved this day never once thinking about how hard it could be for so many people. I have to go jump back in bed and pretend to be alseep because little people that used to live in my belly are upstairs messing up the kitchen trying to surprise me with breakfast in bed. I hope everyone finds a way to find peace this fine Mother's Day.

Thank you cards

This is what we did for Kalli's thank you cards. I love that my friend Shannon taught me how to add text to a picture. I love how it looks and how simple it is to do.

Opening Day for Softball

It was a great day. Kaya had her very first softball game ever - she was soooo cute. She is the smallest on her team and it sort of looked like her uniform was swallowing her. She fell down twice and was so proud to pop right back up! Kalli is a catcher this year and I love it. She loves it, too. I am coaching both of them, and it makes me feel so proud to watch them as they become athletes.

I love these faces.

They are the best little travelers on earth. I am taking them and Busia to a wedding in Colorado. I cannot wait to see them in their wedding dresses (they are in the wedding). I will post photos of that as soon as we get back.

8 year ago today

I became a mother. I actually struggle to remember what my life was like before I was a mom. It was just cool. And I have loved every part of it for 8 years - even the scary, yucky stuff. I know it will be over too soon and I try to appreciate the little things every day. I am so lucky that she is still at the age where she likes wearing our family BIRTHDAY HAT. It was a great day. We leave to go to a wedding in Colorado at 4 in the morning, so we had a birthday lunch instead of dinner and the kiddos are already snuggled together in Kaya's little bed!